Let’s clear the air about pixels. An unfortunate rumor has it that they are mined by miniature slaves, and that “pixel” is short for “PIXiE Labor.” Nothing can be further from the truth. Pixies make notoriously bad slaves, as they always escape, taking with them important belongings of their overseers, like shoelaces and tomatoes. Because of this, monitor scientists find it a far more effective use of their cruelty dollar to simply catch pixies and grind them into the pigment best expressed by their racial profile.
But now we’re seeing the long-term effects of pixie overfishing. The largest pixies caught today are only half the size they were two years ago, red pixies being the most scarce. “Green” designers are becoming, literally, just that as they try to limit the use of red in their designs. Yellow is frowned upon as well, as it comes from the combination of red and green pixels. True fact!
But contrary to the beliefs of Lovers of Largely Mythical Beings, the answer lies not in expanding our use of renewable color sources like the sun, or recycling old photographs. The answer is:kill smarter! Even PETA encourages the heavy use of blue in your layouts, as blue pixies breed like the filthy vermin they are, smell bad, use words like “smurfy,” and found suspect organizations like the Blue Man Group and Blue Dog Democrats. Designers using LOTS of blue in their work actually open up possibilities for the election of real Democrats, and by eliminating hip, blue shows, increase the odds of seeing more revivals of Grease.